hmmm i would be lying if i didn't see this coming. it was bound to happen. i mean come on, she is so damn hot! and got many friends. she is friendly, very friendly. she is pretty,beautiful and all the positive stuffs that i can think of. although i don't know you that well, cuz well, we just start talking a couple of months back. and we rarely even speak or meet now. in my mind, i wanna this to work out. but that was it. nothing more nothing less. yes i said that i just wanna go with the flow, but come on! it's me! i just wanna have that special someone. and i really want it to be her somehow. but it's all wishful thinking. i guess my curse still lives on. i may be exaggerating things, cuz not much has happen yet, that i know of. so i just wish that things will finally go my way. please god, for once i wanna have that happiness :(
"Okay, I'm going to say something out loud that I've been doing a pretty good job of not saying out loud lately. What you and Tony have, what I thought for a second you and I had, what I know that Marshall and Lily have, I want that. I do. I keep waiting for it to happen. I'm waiting for it to happen and I guess I'm just tired of waiting. And that is all I'm going to say on that subject." - Ted Mosby
when i first saw the episode this quote came from, i was really surprised cuz well this quote really explains how i feel from the get go. i can feel ted's emotion flowing just like mine is. it really relates to me in every way. like he said, i'm tired of waiting :(
i don't sense the end of the world yet cuz Busted have already been to the Year 3000. sorry, i'm feeling a bit nostalgic. it's been a decade yaw! 10 freaking years. damn what a long time. so i have my right to be a little nostalgic. S Club 7, Blue,Westlife. damn i feel old. oh yeah cuz 2011 will mean that i'll be 20 next july. damn, no 'teen' ever! a lot of pressure. so speaking of the new year, what are my new year's eve plan? hmm good question! well, i have no effing idea. some want to go here, some want to go there. i'm kinda stuck. i kinda want a peaceful,non-crowded celebration of the new year, but without anyone to celebrate it, it's no fun. so i'll just follow my friends and see how it goes. it's not like i have a special girl that i can bring with -.- it's not that being with my friends isn't fun, i just want a special someone to be there when the clock strikes midnight. looks like 2010 wasn't really happy with me, so the curse still lives on. damn you! but there were some good things that happen during 2010. well, i now have more friends, in and out of college of course. who would have thought that a loser kid like me will have some awesome friends(thx lyn<3) people keep telling me that i'm like famous and popular and stuff. well i'm not! i'm just an average guy who follows his friends to go see other friends. without my close friends, i won't be able to know half of my friends now. so i appreciate it. how bout my attitude?did it change? well, not really. i still feel like the same syahmi. but some say that i changed. maybe i did. but i just don't realized it yet. i do notice that i've become more social. i used to be the guy who only hang with certain people only. but now, i don't care. i'm like opening up my variety? something like that. i don't wanna brag, but i kinda went out with girls, alone, by myself, no when else(well, maybe some bought their friends) weird right? me going out with girls? it's like my kembara turns to a buggati. it will never happen, but it did. i was kinda nervous will all those encounters(sound like Final Fantasy to me, which btw is awesome!) especially the current encounter. that made me really nervous like shit. but i went through all of that. and i kinda feel proud of myself. well, not only cuz i get to go out with girls. but also cuz i stepped out of my box. not being the loner(i'm kinda still am a lil) so that was kinda a big deal in 2010. what else? i can't think much. now, let's talk about 2011. what can u expect from me in 2011? well, TESL nite is just around the corner! who will be my date that night? i have no clue *perhaps? i'm going to be hella busy with it. taking photos and stuff. and oh yeah! i'm doing my practicum around july! yeah! *jump off building i'm freaking scared! i can't handle kids! damn! damn! damn! .......... ok i'm calm down now. i'm still not ready. but i guess i can be prepared more. will we be expecting a gf in 2011? hopefully! and i hope i choose the right one :) like i said, i'll go with the flow. i won't put high hopes on anything or anyone. i've learned it the hard way. so please 2011, be nice to me. i really want 2011 to be the year i shine the most, the year that i've become something, the year that i finally found someone. the year Syahmi will be Syahmi! good bye 2010, and hello 2011!!!! Happy New Year Everyone!!!!
damn, 2010 is almost done. it seems just like yesterday it was January, but here we are, December. countdown begins to 2011. looking back at this year, it definitely has its ups and downs. for once, i get to keep my hair long like a rockstar. well, more like a 25 year old hobo. but it still looks cool. i somehow become more responsible this year. being class rep, organizing events, being (un)official photograper for TESL club, living (semi)alone. damn, a lot has happened. and i didn't even notice it. maybe it's a sign that i'm truly changing. becoming the person that i will become. i mean, i truly suck during previous years. but this year, i took a lot of responsibility, which i always afraid to keep up. but i somehow managed to get through them. one thing for sure, i'm still an Ass-hole! A jack-ass! i don't mind calling myself that. i know my flaws and i don't give a fuck about others who think judge me. hmmmm, the downs of my year? so much fall out between my parents and me. i love my family but damn it, crap on a stick! oh yeah! being alone! still! sigh even this year i couldn't get lucky. it's like the curse is still with me. and it wont go away. damn it! but i did mature a little when it comes to going out with girls. although i still need some stuff to work out. but it's kinda an improvement from last year. i just wish i could have met someone this year. and spend time with her through out the year. i always have the thought that i will spend my new year's eve with someone that i truly care about. i mean, not that i don't like spending it with my friends, but i just wish that a certain someone will be there too. and that certain someone could be anyone, but i guess i won't know who she is. its sad that all this while people think i'm like this guy who hangs out with girls, but in reality i'm just another loser just trying to survive in this world. i'm a nobody. i guess i went off topic. i'm sorry. being the last few days of the year, i tend to get a little bit emotional about this. anyway, 5 days left till new years. and i hope maybe during these 5 days, a freaking miracle could happen to me. for once, i could be happy on a new year :)